Of all the problems that the world of dating throws up, the one that’s possibly the most difficult to actually find a solution to is: WHEN is it appropriate to have sex for the first time with the person you’re seeing?Because, you know, too soon, and you might be coming on too strong (and you’re secretly a little worried that he will think you’re promiscuous). Leave it too late, and you might just lose interest in each other.
But, ladies, worry no more, Time Out has the answer – 3.53 dates is it!
No, they don’t mean 3 dates, or 4 dates – and not even 3.5 dates. It has to be very, very exact. And luckily for us, NYMag tells us exactly how to go about figuring this out: you need to be carrying a stopwatch on each of your dates, measuring their duration exactly, and then doing some crucial mathematical acrobatics to arrive at The. Exact. Moment.
But the problem for us Indian ladies is a little different, and goes beyond mere maths and measurements. These are the questions that are still left unanswered:
1. What do you do if you are, at that precise moment, in the middle of a meal or a movie? Because you know, in India, you can get arrested for PDA.
2. What if you plan this better, but then get stuck in traffic? Because that is a very real possibility. We’re not sure having your chauffeur as witness to your first time with him is a great idea. And if either of you are driving, then it is a wee bit of a safety hazard to be going at it at the same time.
3. Also, if you guys don’t have privacy at home, and are planning to do this at a hotel, but the receptionist won’t let you check in because you’re not married to each other? Because, trust us, we’ve been there, and this actually happens.
4. The survey is a little unclear on whether you start the process at 3.53 dates (foreplay, undressing, etc.), or if you have to be actually, uh, doing ‘it’ at that precise moment. Who will answer this question for us?
5. The biggest problem: how do you EXPLAIN the 3.53 concept to him? Do you tell him in advance, or just jump his bones without any warning? (Forwarding him the link to this piece might help with this one!)
If you guys have solutions to any of this, we would be grateful for them. And, of course, if you can think of any other challenges – let us know – we can’t promise answers, but you will get oodles of sympathy and understanding from us for sure.
This story first appeared on POPxo.com, March 2015. Reproduced with permission.